Recently, somebody asked the question online: why do we want our readers to like our protagonists? I guess we do. The bad guys, that’s not us (me, the writer and me, the protagonist). That’s them. I have found that I am looking towards beauty, peace and being free a lot these days. Which is a good thing, I guess, because in the end peace and freedom gives us the opportunity to make the choices we want and make the art we want.
On the other hand, however, I have come through my depression by accepting my down sides and my sadness. I was still able to create, because I embraced the sadness I felt. Not because I fought against it. Life is sometimes a little (or a lot) sad. We get down for whatever reasons. Only when I accept these moods, I can genuinely be free and make the art I want (write the stories I want).
These days I am taking time to read the longer stories on the internet, the articles, written by journalists and bloggers, because I want to step out of the fast and shallow life. And go back into the life of meaning. What does it all mean? Who are we on earth? And who are our fellow (wo)men? So I read about the girl who lost her brother to schizophrenia and how her brother suffered and how her parents suffered too.
I guess, what I am trying to say: life is not likable, sometimes people are not likable for the way they behave, but the bad guys, that’s us too. The sister didn’t like her brother when she was growing up, he was taking up her time with her parents. Of course, when she grew out of puberty she discovered that what he has, has nothing to do with being likable. He was that way, because he was that way.
To come back to the beginning and my focus to beauty, peace and freedom, I guess our only way to live with the bad guys, in real life and in our writings, we have to accept. We have to accept that we can be the bad guys too. We have to accept that some people are assholes, not because they choose that, but because they can’t be different at that time. Or at least, I want to accept. I want to accept me.